Dia _______ (nossa, nao consigo nem lembrar que dia e hoje)
6:00 a.m. – Um dos humanos que mora na minha casa acabou de acordar. Isso e la hora de acordar?
7:30 a.m. – Comida!!! Eu estou com tanta fome! Eu vou comer tudo de vez!
7:31 a.m. – Uhm, acho que comi muito rapido … Nao estou me sentindo muito bem … Eu acho que vou vomitar …
7:32 a.m. – Oh, oh … Um dos humanos que mora na minha casa nao parece contente que eu vomitei em cima do tapete.
8:30 a.m. - Ja saiu todo mundo para o trabalho. Eu acho que vou tirar uma soneca.
12:00 noon – Que horas sao? Hora do almoco, mas eu estou com tanto sono ZZZZ
1:00 p.m. – Acho que vou comer alguma coisa. Depois do almoco tem a siesta!
3:00 p.m. – Estou aqui olhando o movimento pela janela, as pessoas na rua, os passarinhos. Nossa, olhar pela janela da um sono.
6:00 p.m. – Alguem chegou em casa! Puxa vida, depois de ficar em casa sozinho o dia todo, e tao bom ter alguem com quem reclamar da vida!
6:30 p.m. – Comida! Acho que vou comer mais devagar agora.
7:30 p.m. – Jantar! A comida dos humanos parece tao boa, mas eles nunca me dao nada.
8:30 p.m. – O que eu ia fazer mesmo? Eu esqueci … Nao importa, os humanos estao assistindo TV e eu acho que vou ficar ali com eles.
8:35 p.m. – Nossa, assistir TV da um sono …
10:00 p.m. – Os humanos vao dormir. Esta ficando tarde, acho que vou fazer o mesmo!
Essa é conversa… aqui está o diário de cachorros e gatos de verdade (em inglês)…
Excerpts from a dog’s diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a cat’s diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it
to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released — and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
Carlos – se me lembro bem, voce nos mandou esse texto uma vez e eu me inspirei para fazer o diario do Oscar